3D Flooring – Living spaces beyond minimalist dullness at last?


 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam CO2I loathe minimalism. I draw the line at being expected to worship laminates.  3D flooring may be the answer to the minimalist design desert.

I’m as fond of “spaces” as anyone, in fact. I love them, but there is definitely a point at which turning interior design in to “how to create a bland, meaningless hole” is unacceptable. Minimalism has had 20 years of fawning acceptance, and it’s time to go.

Nor would giving minimalism the boot do much damage to good designers. The only ones at risk would be the true crap artists. There are bacteria with more design credentials than that, and these sheep definitely won’t be missed. It might actually be more humane to put them down. How bad can it be if your claim to design talent is a bit of utterly ignorable white surface? Death or release into real design could only help these poor bastards.

3D flooring basics

3D flooring, picture of bed above blue sky and clouds

Source: Beddinginn.com

Flooring of pinkish scarlet flowes in bathroom

Source: Heaven 3D Interior

Beach shallows image 3D flooring

Source: Design Swan

Living room setting with water flooring and coastal motif wall showing small islands on the horizon.

Source: Imperial Interiors

Bedroom with large Earth surrounded by stars, with sun breaking over the eastern horizon and moon on the other side.

Source: aliexpress.com Custom Star Earth design

The idea of 3D flooring is so basically good in so many ways. The floor is the largest contiguous area in any architectural space. It’s a great way of adding color and motifs.

3D floors are basically polymers, epoxy resin, tough as nails, and easy to clean. You could put these things over practically any surface. Obviously, there’s no guarantee against scuffing, but most damage would be pretty minor.

 

This is the natural development of split levels – split dimensions and perspectives. If these early designs are just that, imagine the possibilities, like Gothic themes, H.P. Lovecraft… favorite movies, meditation rooms….anything, really. Talk about a merchandising dream, but there are huge artistic possibilities here.

3D walls are also arriving, if less dramatically. Thank god for high definition and good vectoring, is all I need to say. You could outdo the Baroque period, with a bit of thought, and if you’re bloody-minded enough, add real Baroque stuff to totally confuse everyone, including yourself.

Every living space IS different. Making that space nice and liveable, however, is very much a matter of individual preferences. Some of the 3D ideas are quite elegant, and if they owe a bit to 1940s-50s modern abstracts, (the pre-pop art stuff) that’s a good pedigree for any design.

One thing I notice about 3D is that you don’t take long to say Yes or No. The visual impact is such that you either love it or want to go around it.

I honestly don’t think this is a fad. I think it’s the beginning of a new, more visually intensive, but in many ways more advanced living aesthetic.

Humans always try to create good life spaces for themselves. Pity they don’t pay more attention to the hideous life spaces they often create for others, but when it’s your home, it’s personal. The level of care about design goes up enormously.

You often, in fact monotonously, hear about “conversation pieces” in design. These floors could be called “consciousness starters”. People naturally adjust to new environments. It may well be that one reason so many people are so utterly unaware of their environments is that so many modern environments are all so

Classical living room, with water feature floor design in pale blue with coral, dolphins, fish, etc.

Source: DHgate.com

similar.  New, unfamiliar environments may be just what’s needed to kickstart the human brain.

Anyway, I want the cloud bed flooring. I like the idea of going to bed above a serene sky and waking up to something that doesn’t scream “Clean me!”, too.

For more fabulous 3D flooring, check out this link.

Please note – All 3D flooring pictures shown on this blog are copyright properties of their respective owners. I do not claim to own any intellectual property rights over these pictures.  The images are used here under terms of Fair Use, solely for the purpose of commentary.

 

Minimalism, a rebuttal


 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media JamMinimalism is to me the epitome of this idea-less, loveless, lifeless society. Replace a life with an empty space. Decluttering is one thing; removing all aesthetics and life values is another.

What, nothing matters? No keepsakes, no beautiful things? Exactly what I’d expect from this rathole of a pseudo-civilization; a barren wasteland, with a brand name and a smug little rationale. Minimalism is the sort of aesthetic you’d expect from an underachieving termite.

What minimalism is and isn’t

Listen, phonebrains, while I explain a few things:

Minimalism is called “living with less”. That’s a death sentence if ever there was. Already living in overpriced antique pigeon coops, you want less?  Remember doing more with less, that farcical fraud foisted on business? Remember how it meant doing a lot more with a lot less and achieving nothing but stress?

This is a simulation of the known universe. Minimalism? None.

The universe. Minimalism? None. This single picture has more meaning than any empty damn barn will ever have. You wouldn’t be allowed to put it on your wall, because it’s not a minimalist value.

Minimalism means by definition fewer aesthetics. Can you exist without a likeable environment? Would you want to? Because that’s what this “interior desertification” means. How at home do you feel in a barren space like an airport? Do you go to a “nice” pub, with a friendly environment, or some damn laminated hell with nothing but lifeless spaces?

Minimalism means life without art. Ignore a few thousand years of aesthetics, why don’t you? You could be as pig-ignorant as anyone you’ve ever despised. “Well, how long can you look at the same painting?”, you ask? Answer; decades, if you know a damn thing about how to look at a painting. You’ll always see textures, colour combinations, etc. The painting will reflect differently with different moods, emotions, etc., too.

The lifestyle aspect of minimalism is one of its few valid features; it reflects a nothing of a lifestyle. Emptiness, not humanity, not even personality. The irony of using natural materials in “minimalist” environments is that you might as well be back in the caves, where you presumably belong, not living as some sort of allegedly advanced, evolved being.

To me, minimalism is subhuman. It’s a monument to nihilism, that great philosophical cop-out of humanity, in which everything is considered meaningless. It’s as pitiful as “prove existence” for first year philosophy hacks. How spiritually gutless can you get? Minimalism, like nihilism, means you have no skin in the game of being yourself. You can’t win, but you can’t lose, either, with no commitments. You can’t even play the game. That’s minimalism; a void in to which you can escape. You can have it; just don’t ask me to do anything with it but bury it.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books

 

Art appreciation for morons


 

 

Wasp2Host: Welcome to the Celebration of Minimalism. We’d like you to fawn, gush, drip slightly, and perhaps even stand on two legs at our latest selections. We’ll show you what art appreciation is all about.

Imagine the minimal version of a Monet. Two dots in a pristine white canvas. How deeply poignant and moving it would be. Beethoven’s Sixth, without all that noise. The Sistine Chapel, with some dignity. This is the New Culture, the spiritual version of enchanting emptiness.

No, we don’t have any paintings or sculptures. We’re really minimal. We have instead Fred, a local building-nuzzler and fortunately portable cultural icon. Fred’s not allowed in to buildings in this city any more, so we’re having our show here in this wonderful car park off ramp.

Say hello, Fred.

“Fresno intersection”.

Close enough.

…But enough of this artistic banter. Now let’s move on tepidly to the real meat of our celebration; the famous Larry. Larry can hold eight hour monologues in confined spaces, preferably as small as possible. All that breathing just gets in the way, doesn’t it? Larry’s contribution to art appreciation is based on his work as a critic and occasional sales-thing for various major corporations.

Tell us a bit about yourself, Larry.

“It was when I was six that I discovered my hatred of all life. I loathed interesting things. Why have beauty when you can have maniacal, obsessive boredom? Why have love, when you can have empty plates and empty minds? So, naturally, I decided to become an art critic.”

Strange how evolution works, isn’t it?

“I don’t know. I’m not a subscriber.”

Do go on.

Job page 21“Here, ladies and gentlemen and other great losses to entomology, you see pristine art. This is real culture; the frenzied mentality of the driver on the off ramp. The endearingly vacuous expression on the alleged face. The mystic cowering of ramp users. That’s art.”

(Larry pauses to scratch face; continues)

“I first discovered art appreciation as a salesman for Roombas. Yes, all those days ago, I wrote my seminal work, the Roomba Super Destruct Slam Dunk 24. I’d like to read you an excerpt from my piece on this delicious appliance….?”

(Enthusiastic whimperings from crowd)

“Thank you. It’s a template for my later work in teaching art appreciation and formal art criticism. I blush to say that it’s even been compared to some online direct marketing copy.”

(Picks up brochure, smiles and begins to read.)

“The sheer ferocity and unbridled passion of the Roomba Super Destruct Slam Dunk 24 can be compared to Wagner, Liszt and certain anonymous, discreet decors in New Jersey. In unknown places, covens of fans gather to watch their mighty role model as it whisks through grime and grit to expose pure lino. They shudder in ecstasy as it symbolically collides with family members, and other liabilities.

The creative process coverOne day, a savant called Sniffles McClownvomit decided to try an experiment. What if the Roomba Super Destruct Slam Dunk 24 could be persuaded to deliver colored fluids all over the house? Using a Ouija board and a madman’s palette of lawyers, Sniffles fitted acrylic paint dispensers to the Roomba Super Destruct Slam Dunk 24.

The result was what’s now called Instant Expressionism. Expressionism, as you know, is to art what enemas are to ballet – Possibly useful, but not in public.

Sniffles soon discovered that there was a problem with his idea – The Roomba Super Destruct Slam Dunk 24 ran out of paint, or clogged, or tried to commit suicide. The result, however, was interesting – Little or no paint.

Yes, friends and other debtors, it was Minimalism!…”

(Pauses as person faints in delirious crowd explosion of enthusiastic whining.)

“…Control yourselves, please… Well, OK, don’t…And here we have a spot of paint, actually supplied by the Roomba Super Destruct Slam Dunk 24!”

(Cheers, stamping of feet, and sound of adenoidal-overachieving person asking to have his baby or some other souvenir.)

The police were called and responded with cheerful arrests of all involved. Now that’s art appreciation. Go out and buy some, right now, and cower along with the other intellectual bedpans.

 

LOGO with Sydney Media Jam edit 300PPI