Feel a desperate need for something intelligent?


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam CO2Need something, anything, intelligent to relieve the monotony?Amid the endless fascination of global stupidity, a certain lack of enthusiasm is becoming evident. Maybe there’s something a bit samey about endless disasters and a pole to pole sewer of a planet?

Obviously, your intellect is starving. There is no nutrition to keep it active. Talk about food for thought; where, exactly, would you find it in a place like Earth?

Now the really scary bit  – It’s just possible that having to learn the language of stupidity to communicate with “others” (Other whats, does anyone know?) may be sabotaging your efforts to find the food your mind needs.

There is something almost impossibly mediocre about any situation where futility in communication is the normal state of things. Do people wake up in the morning and say cheerfully, “Hey! Now’s our chance to be futile!” Some don’t, you know. Well, you know now.

Let’s put the no-intellect situation in PR terms so it will be comprehensible to the most unimpressive of intellects and perhaps even penetrate their thick useless hides –

You remember something called “aspirations”? No, of course not. Well, there were such things, years ago, before you useless bastards were born.. There was also something called a credible society, and places where people were allowed to use their minds without having to apologize for it to some jock roadkill PR/media suppository maggot.

Sickening, of course. Imagine billions of people having aspirations and intelligence, sometimes even at the same time. How could you sell it? How do you merchandise intelligence to the point where it might even be noticeable?

It’s a big issue, and people have been avoiding it for years. The language of stupidity is free of any reference to it. Everybody is an ignoramus in good standing, in this language. That’s why you no longer need to listen to at least

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

Reading a book may lead someone to suspect you’re intelligent. This book, which can be used as a sort of S&M device, will throw them off the track nicely.

90% of any conversation, because the conversation is as ignorant as the people doing the talking.

It’s inspiring stuff. No issue, theory or fact, however globally or personally lethal, is allowed to be intelligently discussed, described, or comprehended in any meaningful way. The problem of course, is that your mind, down to its last muesli bar of reasons to exist, is  just sitting there like a prisoner, playing its harmonica, and rattling on the bars of social media. It may even be looking at those little tourist brochures for personal oblivion called “trends in modern lifestyles”. Grim indeed.

(You can see why this is being written in PR terms; so that even the dear little gerbils who “manage” modern media imagery will get it. You bloody worthless pig-ignorant peasants, you.)

Meanwhile – Back at your interesting-things-starved mind – It may be digging a tunnel to escape from its prison, but escape to where, you ask? To the wildly exciting blather of the vast amounts of information which will be forgotten in the next 5 seconds? No; that’s not where it wants to go.

The cosmic microwave background – Now, how could you pretend to find something interesting in that. You whimsical soul, you.

Studies by incredibly irritating people have shown that given half an excuse, the human mind defaults to something it’s actually interested in. This is considered by the sages of modern life (aka scum) to be a particularly stupid thing to do, partly because it’s not believed to be possible for anything to be interesting.

Nor is it believed possible for that all embracing demographic called “them” (aka humans) to be intelligent.

That’s the encouraging bit. Your mind can wander away and there’s no chance anybody will go looking for it.  If you find something that actually interests you and saves your mind from eating its foot off in sheer bored frustration, nobody will believe you. You’ll be weird enough to be left alone having fun and staying mentally alive with your interesting thing.

So – Feel a desperate need for something intelligent? You should.


Read a few of my books and claim that they’re interesting. Nobody will believe you, they’ll think you’re a nut, and you can frolic to your heart’s content.