Internet of Things  – Crappy Cash Cow Rising


 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam CO2The Internet of Things will be Christmas for the hardware guys. Give them credit, promoting garbage is their real strong suit. The Internet of Things isn’t even remotely necessary. Existing tech can do all of it, with very minor modifications. It’ll be an excuse to add some Duh-level software, and call it smart, much like smart phones. This will be crap incarnate, as everyone knows. What’s interesting is the way it’s being sold.

Think about it. Do you actually need a fridge that can tell you need milk, or an oven that can tell you it needs cleaning? How about a washing machine that can analyse your washing and tell you that you might have rabies? Of course not. Yet the Internet of Things is being sold like sliced bread, as if you can’t live without it.

The processes and the selling process, are based on perception.
Tech is good, right? Sometimes, sure, but hardly always. New is good, right? Occasionally, at best. Tech comes and goes. Sometimes you’re glad to see the back of it. The Internet of Things, however, is about to be rammed down your throat as a must-have.

In the cheap and nasty world of hardware, engineers might get a look in, but it’s mainly sales at consumer level. Think of all the crap you’ve ever bought which failed almost immediately or simply didn’t live up to expectations on any level. Now apply that to every possible type of basic tech you have.

Internet of Things = Insecure

The “connectivity factor” is another load of bull. Creating multiple security risks where you currently have none is also apparently essential. In all the years I’ve been watching the Internet of Things emerging from the butthole of mediocrity which is promoting it, nobody has EVER addressed this issue in any degree of depth, if at all. It’s being ignored, entirely.  It’s a familiar pattern. Just about every expert has said the Internet of Things is a huge risk, therefore nothing is being done about it.

What to expect from the Internet of Things

Expect this:

  • Constant malfunctions. Either hardware, software, or both, the plague will descend like a void warranty Woodstock on the public.
  • Shoddy software, hardware, and connections. This is normal. New tech teething usually takes about 5-10 years.
  • Overpriced and ridiculous. You get something which can measure mould in a fridge. It uses a chemical particle detector, which means if it’s not calibrated properly, it can shut down your fridge.
  • The mystic ability of onboard software to interfere with normal operations. (Like a dysfunctional sound file that won’t let you close Windows, for example. The operating processes dictate, and the processes in the Internet of Things will be truly half-ass at best.
  • Your wardrobe will deliver a display, a lecture on how to wash your clothes, and SFA of any practical value.
  • No opt-out options. When you buy an Internet of Things gizmo, you won’t be able to avoid the features. It’s not like a car, where you can take or leave certain features. You get the crap whether you want it or not. The Internet of Things should be optional, but what fun would that be for the Internet of Things shills, if they can’t gouge you for something?

The economics of the Internet of Things

The good news? You’ll stop being such a materialist, (you awful person, you) after buying these things and fixing them has sent you broke. The trouble with cash cow tech is that nobody ever wonders how people will pay for them, pay for fixing them, or pay for new tech that actually works after having been incinerated a few times.

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

The 21st century Stone Age can be creatively counteracted. Creating solutions, creating better options, you name it; this is the way out of the sewer.

Better still, you can have some more stress to go with your techno-menagerie. Imagine trying to figure out whether your automatic ordering fridge (A fridge that can spend your money for you is a selling point, if you’re an idiot) has been helping launder money around the world. You can simply be ripped off by anyone with a few minutes to spend doing so.

More subtly, you can be ripped off for years by micro transactions milking your account, linked to anything from taxes to service charges and simply adding a bit more. These micro transactions actually predate the internet, robbing a few dollars or cents here or there, and with a world full of connected gadgets, you’re talking billions of dollars per second.

Won’t the other end of the transactions do something, you ask, from your sparkly new hand-dug burrow under a main road? No. They’re only responsible for their own due fees, charges, etc. They can happily dump any problems on you, because they’re not parties to any illegal transaction. You’d have to prove they had any liability. Cute, huh?

Parasites, rejoice! The Internet of Things hath come!

So for everyone but consumers, the Internet of Things will be wonderful. You can be happily sold more expensive crap in the sure knowledge that yet another type of tech will create a lot more problems with no solutions.

Things you might want to ask your wonderful, wise Internet of Things salesperson:

  1. Will the new Internet of Things alarm clock which also provides medical advice be able to help with euthanasia?
  2. Can your handy new clothes dryer/auditor/priest provide spiritual salvation, or at least a few good excuses?
  3. Can your dishwasher help to spread more diseases, and keep those nice guys in Big Pharma out of jail?
  4. Can your toaster oven incubate more politicians?
  5. How many ways can your new Domestic Gestalt of Things help with sending you broke?
  6. How many relationship problems can you have with a new dining table which also provides help with toxic waste foods selection?
  7. Is it possible to buy a connected chair which also does electrocutions while preventing you from watching anything?

I’m having nothing to do with the Internet of Things until someone can prove to me it’s not a total liability and total waste of time and money from inception.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books

No, this isn’t empowerment -Yet

 


 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam CO2The theory and practice of female empowerment doesn’t seem to have travelled far, at least, not yet. It’s still a word, not a fact. Having basic rights isn’t empowerment. Getting the odd, grudging bit of recognition of an issue isn’t empowerment. Not getting raped, abused, or harassed isn’t empowerment. Sprinkling a few women, out of billions of women, in better jobs isn’t empowerment.

 

 

Tokenism isn’t success. It’s certainly not empowerment, or empowering. It’s a dog biscuit. Arguing about equal pay, for example, which the law says you should have anyway, hasn’t yet resulted in that happening. Empowerment is about results, not talk.

Defining “empowerment”

Neo feminism may be better at raising issues than old feminism, but it’s downright lousy at delivering lethal punches. The scum are still around.  #metoo did get somewhere, but nowhere near far enough.

If you define empowerment as:

  • The power to achieve goals
  • Actual power to manage life problems
  • Actual power to take positive action
  • Standalone power to defend your rights
  • Actual power to deliver security and freedom from fear

…. How far has the empowerment come? Not very. The problems remain, in all their inglorious squalor. So-called men and their bizarre behaviours are still the lifetime obstacle course for women.

Ladies, as I’ve been saying for years, the glass ceiling is made of the same material as their jaws. They can’t take a punch. You’re dealing with a pack of inferior, talentless office boys that most other men see for what they are – Cowards, fools, nasty little bullying insects who need to be trodden on, not “debated with” as if they were anything but cockroaches.

Maybe you don’t see them the same way, due to the vast range of issues, but they’re not fighters. There’s a very old male joke about bullies getting married – “Finally found someone you could beat?” which pretty much covers the image of these misogynists with other men. We despise them, for so many good reasons.

The immortal Celts in EnglandMany of us guys are baffled that these uninvited insults to our gender brand are anti-female at all, let alone making an industry of being anti-female. We’re not anti-female. Why the hell would any real guy have some psychosis about oppressing women? Why would you beat up the one person who can stand the sight of you enough to marry you and have your kids? How much more of a friend could anyone be? It’s irrational, not to say downright insane.

We have nothing against women. We’ve never had any reason to be hostile to women. We all had mothers, sisters, girlfriends who are/were real friends, daughters, and associates as friends, lovers and long term partners. Even these misogynist filth know better than to risk certain death when it comes to a fight with other guys on these subjects.

Ways to empowerment

Allow me/us to offer a few suggestions:

  • Hit these bastards with anything and everything – Class actions in the workplace, whatever hits their bottom lines professionally and personally. Their money and status are sacred to them. (This is mainly because like good little clichés they simply do not know any other values. Their BS is literally who they are.) Threaten that, and it’s as good as a hard kick in the balls.
  • They’re weak and stupid – They fear personal risk of any kind. They couldn’t think their way out of a paper bag, let alone fight their way out. Any conflict will show a lot of weak points you can exploit. The weakest point will be the breaking point. You may not get the satisfaction of turning them in to hamburger with your fists, but you’ll see a shrivelled up little bastard or so falling to bits.
  • Their “business savvy” and social skills are as fake as their masculinity – They’re parrots, hiding behind anything they can find to make them look good in a group. Make them look stupid and incompetent in front of professional peers, and they’ll get nasty, but not if those peers tell them where to go, (which at some point they will) and particularly if anything requires them to stand up and make themselves targets for criticism.
  • They’re scared of their own methods – Fear is their weapon, but it works even better against them. Outmaneuver them, get them to fear any sort of personal consequences, real or imagined, and their own cowardice and genetic incompetence will do the rest. This is ad hominem in the most practical sense. Nothing more hilarious than a terrified bully, too, always good for some featherweight entertainment.
  • Their “friends” are as untrustworthy and weak as they are – These vermin always align with the stronger side in any conflict, so they’ll bail out and join the other side when things get difficult, particularly if they’re at risk. Don’t trust them, obviously, but they’ll cave in and get out of the way of the juggernaut if you push the right buttons.
  • They usually have long track records of mistakes – Get as nasty as you like about making these records of ridiculous behaviour visible, preferably through a third party. Just do a good job of it. Even a mountain can be undermined if it’s on shaky foundations.
  • Please, please, please – Do NOT descend to the level of “boys vs girls”. That’s for kindergarten, not adult life. It’s also a potential own goal. It gives easy cover to “men” who will try to use it as a negative against you. Other guys may feel threatened, or more likely, irritated by the “all men are monsters” sort of thing which wore itself out through overuse in the 80s. Being a human being standing up for your rights doesn’t need explaining, anyway. Also very much to the point; hard facts and real leverage do far more real damage than rhetoric which puts people in a position of having to take sides based on gender.

Male friends will be happy to support in practical ways. It’s the same as taking out the trash, in so many ways. More sanitary, more aesthetically pleasing, and so on.

You want to be empowered? You’re on the right basic track, so make sure you stay on track.

So get on with it!

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books

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