The new phobias – Fears in a clapped out, thoughtless world


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam CO2Fear is a major driver in human existence. Fear is actually one of the reasons humans stand on two legs; to better see danger. These days, fear is a way of life. The new fears are pathetic, but predictable.

  • Gnostiphobia -The fear of knowledge. This is the wonderful mechanism whereby being an ignoramus is acceptable/compulsory in human society.
  • Bibliophobia – Fear of books. This type of fear is largely responsible for the regression of the human race into its present disgusting state.
  • I-phobia – Fear of being oneself and having an individual personal identity. This is a conformist psychological disorder, relating to the risk of actually being a human being. Symptoms include the constant use of the word “we” and disassociation from own actions and responsibilities.
  • Materia-phobia – Fear of material things, either as lacking them, or as agents of social demotion through being cheap or shoddy.
  • Peer-phobia – The fear of one’s social group, self-explanatory.
  • Comprehension-phobia – The fear of being expected to understand anything at all, particularly if it involves oneself actually doing something. Perhaps the final despairing bleat of total intellectual cowardice.
  • Talent-phobia (also known as competence-phobia) – Common in business, Hollywood, media, economics, politics, and largely responsible for the cultural stampede to incompetence at all levels.

If you happen to have noticed that all these fears add up to practically every single thing human beings are capable of doing or being, bingo. Human psychological life is now so stress-laden that phobias are the norm.

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

Fear of creativity is the sure sign that you should be a publisher. Read this, and you’ll never need homicidal maniacs again.

It requires species-wide stupidity on a colossal scale to achieve this effect. The results of this global gutlessness should be interesting:

At this rate, psychology and psychiatry will no longer be necessary. All mental conditions can be explained by extreme imbecility.

The evidence of fear is everywhere, particularly in the extremely polarised world of politics. Fear is a weapon; it can be used as indiscriminately as you like, as long as it puts people on one side or another.

In the workplace, fear is created by the inferior middle managers and supervisors to reinforce their own position. This is done at the expense of quite literally everybody else, including their employers, at incredible expense to all involved except the causes of the problems.

In relationships of all kinds, fear is based on a combination of any kind of conflict plus whatever interpretation or spin either or both parties use in the conflict. This also relates to comprehension-phobia, for the reasons shown above.

Responses to phobias

Best practice response to phobias is to slavishly and mindlessly refuse to fight them. Running away is okay in theory, but that implies some sort of intelligence, which is of course totally unacceptable. Better is to stick around surrounded by things you fear for years or decades, drowning in stress and living in absolutely hideous life. You genius, you.

Gothic Black, Paul Wallis books Amazon

This book is all about fears. It includes a monster which learns how to bore people to death and the wonderful town of Pithcurdle, in which the coming of the dreaded Toothpaste Man is a cause for celebration.

The trouble with confronting your fears is that at least a few of them may have some basis in fact. Arachnophobia is a case in point. Fear of spiders is quite reasonable. All spiders are dangerous to some extent, and some are extremely dangerous indeed. The theory of confrontation involves you in having direct contact with an extremely dangerous animal.

The other problem is that confrontation doesn’t actually make the spiders less dangerous; it simply makes you less afraid of them. Ironically, someone discovered years ago that arachnophobia is a particularly good indicator of strong survival instincts. So maybe that type of therapy is way out of whack?

Killing the things you fear is of course the traditional response to phobias. The problem is that these new fears are a bit personal. Killing your knowledge, personal identity, or, for example, may be somewhat inconvenient. Killing your knowledge may not be much loss, but if you kill your personal identity, you’ll only have to go and find/steal/borrow another one, won’t you?

The current historic obligation on all human beings to be absolute morons at all times is also a bit of a problem, believe it or not. Being obliged to be a moron by your delightful necrophiliac society, you may not be allowed to think your way out of situations involving your fears.

There is only one real solution – Cheat. Create fake fears, and tell everybody how terrified you are of them. That will convince everybody that you’re perfectly normal, quite harmless, and well worth ignoring. At least you’ll get some peace of mind.


Read a few of my books and claim that they’re interesting. Nobody will believe you, they’ll think you’re a nut, and you can frolic to your heart’s content.