Money versus humanity


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam,Money is now the sole possible justification for anything, everyone and everything. People live to make money, right? There is no other reason for you being on this Earth, right? Everything else that makes you an actual person is entirely coincidental? Right?

Money is a medium. It’s a means of doing things. You wouldn’t think so, given the absurd inversion of priorities between money and people.

Continue reading

What the hell do you think you know about writing content?


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media JamThis is not going to be the most tactful blog you’ve ever read about writing. I’m a professional writer. I have 8 million words online, paid for by other people.

This has been a very mixed experience. I have been lucky enough to write with some real experts, and unlucky enough to write with people who apparently think a phone bill is Shakespeare.

I’m a real writer. People read my stuff voluntarily. I don’t have to hide behind a brand or banner to get hits.

I’ve had millions of hits. I have user awards, not “Everyone’s Little Friends” awards. I don’t need to tell people I’m a “passionate writer.”

So let’s get down to cases –

Words which annoy writers include “fluff”, “professional”, “eye for detail” and similar insults. It’s a bit much when you look at a page full of typos, absurdly punctuated or wrongly punctuated, and then hear about the high standards these people apply to their content. The entire editorial process is based on managing these details, and you don’t have to look far online to see how good the standards actually are.

A few points for the baffled:

  • The whole idea of content writing is engagement.
  • If you write in exactly the same way and same style as everybody else, nobody is going to read your stuff.
  • People can’t be forced to read online content.
  • Like every type of sales content, a unique selling point, like an unusual writing style, is what sells.
  • Humour, interest, expression, and word timing are the core elements in anything worth reading. Take those away, and what you have is basically a business letter or a style guide.
  • Industry standard doesn’t mean a damn thing. It never has. It’s for dummies, the plodders who think a classified ad is a major achievement.
Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

This book is all about creative ideas. Nobody has yet died of reading it, but it’s a pretty tough call for those not familiar with working with ideas.

Pretty damn technical, isn’t it? It’s basic marketing. If you don’t know that, you should be shot.

Now let’s put this range of ideas in the delightful vernacular of all these hard case “all-business” executives who have never written a damn shopping list:

Get this through your fucking heads, you fucking idiots:

  • Your fucking stuff has to be worth fucking reading.
  • If you write boring fucking crap, the result will be boring fucking crap.
  • Nobody has to, or wants to, read boring fucking crap.
  • Writing content is about fucking business, a unique fucking selling point is what fucking sells.
  • Engagement is supposed to be fucking fun, not a fucking phone bill.
  • Industry standard is for fucking losers. Quality sells, and that’s all you fucking need to know.

Fun to read, wasn’t it? Did you feel loved and respected? Did you feel that your professional skills and life experience were receiving due acknowledgement? Did you feel your career and means of earning a living were doing well?

That, (in case you’re interested and have managed to get your tiny little brain to continue reading through this huge number of 465 words to the end of the last paragraph), is exactly how your patronising remarks sound to writers. Your social skills need neutering.

  • When you start talking about “fluff”, high attention to detail, or things like that, it simply proves to any writer you have never “fucking” written anything.
  • Some writers are real experts. Why do you hire experts, if you are simply going to waste their time (and your own money) with trivial non-issues?
  • Real fluff is based on fluffy information and lousy content requirements from the stagnant depths of real morons. Get your smug head out of your arse and start paying attention to core information requirements.
  • People do not read web content with a style guide at hand. They are looking for information, not some damn grade school exercise.
  • People do not want to be bored to death by shopping lists. Listing has its uses, but it’s not expression. It doesn’t communicate on any particularly persuasive personal level.
  • Annoying writers is a great way of turning over a lot of writers. If you want to be in an endless training exercise, spending unnecessary weeks or months training people to do basic things, it’s costing you a fortune. Serves you right.
  • Annoying writers can be extremely dangerous. Under certain circumstances, if you use those expressions to me, I will either smash your fucking head in, or make you fucking wish I had. Choose between respect or death, office boys.

So glad we had this little chat. Do remember to subscribe, or if you are still inclined to piss-fart around with mindless minutiae, preferably beat yourself to death with a sesame seed. Just don’t tell me about it.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books






Yes, America, you’re as dumb as you think you are


American ValhallaSaw in The New York Times today – “Are we unraveling?” Is America unraveling? You haven’t got the social fabric to make a cardigan for a termite.

You’ve gone from Somewhere Over the Rainbow to Somewhere Under the Indictments. Great move.

Screw tact. The time for tact is long gone.

Let’s get down to cases:

  1. You’ve got a virtual domestic war on your hands in terms of crime, race crimes, etc. which is doing more damage than Vietnam every year.
  2. Your health system is a mass murdering, ridiculously overpriced, chaos.
  3. Your education system is now a contradiction in terms.
  4. You have whole cities going bankrupt in the municipal bonds rackets which you’ve done nothing about for years.
  5. Your finance sector is insane beyond the dreams of conspiracy theories.
  6. The whole country is one big overpriced theme park for organized crime.
  7. Not one damn disaster has been properly managed in decades.
  8. You have a collection of unsanitary clowns for whom the only known policy for decades is tax cuts for the rich.
  9. Your media acts like a sort of whining mechanism in which pontifications about disasters take precedence over facts. Forget “Fourth Estate” – You can’t count that high any more.
  10. The most absurd lies can be sold as fact in any American media outlet.
  11. Corruption is the only real growth industry; the maggots just get bigger and more bizarre.
  12. Your political positions are now based on credulity, not credibility.
  13. Pollution and toxins are now endemic and you do nothing.
  14. Your deep emotional need to lose wars matches your total indifference to suffering veterans, and you call yourselves patriots.
  15. Any absolute lie can now be used as the actual basis of policies of all kinds.
  16. The most progressive, forward thinking nation in history now doesn’t even know where either itself, or the rest of the planet, might be.
  17. No ideals are left from the great days. Not one. The poor the sick and the huddled masses are totally screwed, and screwed again.
  18. There is no society. Communities are just groups drawn together by disasters.
  19. You can’t even get clean water in to homes in California and Michigan.
  20. Whatever is proposed will be turned in to a disaster.
  21. Congress no longer even pretends to be able to work at all.
  22. Plagues of serious medical conditions are now normal.
  23. Mass murders are now daily events nationwide.
  24. You believe any damn thing you see or hear from 2D commentators, but disbelieve expert analysis of any kind.
  25. Having destroyed the America that was, you think it’ll be coming back, like some sort of messiah.
  26. Total failure is the norm; it’s just more expensive.
  27. Your pitiful, comatose “leadership” doesn’t even need to pretend to get anything right any more.
  28. You’re told to hate and despise other Americans on a continual basis and you just do what you’re told. Rugged individualism? Shameless gutlessness.
  29. You’re living in a vacuum, and complaining about not having a say in things when you can’t even breathe.
  30. There is no vision for the future, and you’re wondering why you keep blundering in to more problems.

NYFW1Now the good news – I’m pro-American. It’s the most unfashionable, thankless thing to be these days in any kind of media, on any subject. I’m pro the America that actually was great, not this disgusting cretin factory. You think Donny Boy, a few groveling idiots and Wall Street can deliver that? Yes, you’re a moron.

To me America at its best is still a benchmark for national overachievement and real prosperity. The fact that you’ve blown it so thoroughly and so stupidly is the main issue.

Let’s do a scale – If America in its heyday was 100, modern America is about 19, and reducing rapidly. Some of the good things, like the science and occasional genuine individual brilliance remain, mainly because the obsessive morons aren’t involved. (These fields are seriously contaminated with sycophants and executive trash, but they still work, erratically.)

America’s DIY self-obliteration is a sight to see – If you think roadkills are worth looking at.  The micro-intellects infesting every aspect of business, industry and politics are the antibiotic resistant parasites doing the damage.

…And you keep right on tolerating it.

Let’s translate a few statements from America’s history in to modern frames of reference:

  • Government by the people – These are people? Since when?
  • For the people – Sure…When? Not since the Depression.
  • America the Beautiful – America the Brattish and proud of it.
  • Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – None of these, for decades.
  • Freedom of speech – The right to be shouted down and ignored by any subhuman skank jerk on a 9 figure media contract.
  • Home of the Brave – Home of the criminals.
  • Pursuit of excellence – Obsession with the mediocre.
  • We hold these truths to be self-evident – Unless we’re actually prosecuted for what we do with these truths.
2016 US elections, sydney media jam

Who needs reality anyway, when you’ve got American media?

…. So tell me, idiots, how’re you doing? Yes, you are as stupid as that. What are you going to do about it? Absolutely nothing, so far. You’re now experts in blame, rather than achievements. Whatever goes wrong next will be someone else’s fault. Isn’t that nice? Of course it is, you fuckwits. It’s the perfect excuse for failure, and it works every time.

The solution, and you shouldn’t need to be told –

  • Lose the damn system. It’s killing you, every second. Get the important things in to the hands of the talented people, not the deal-making corpses who’d sell their kids for firewood if they could get a decent price for them.
  • Create new things and new accessible useful things that don’t have to be subject to the whims and tantrums of every overpaid nutcase in the country.
  • Give away food, jobs, health services, education and housing. No law against it. If there’s a gift tax, do it as a co-op or something too complicated for the gerbils to understand.
  • Let the 1% gibber and drool on about being rich – Anything which distracts Crazy Rich America and their servile pets and keeps them busy with the Great Vacuum of Life has to be good for everyone else. They belong in care facilities, so keep them happy in their expensive, mindless slums.
  • Isolate the nuts in irrelevant occupations like protecting the interests of dead sectors. They’re used to that; they’ll never even notice the difference.
  • Basically, exclude the stupidity – It’s only dangerous when it’s compulsory.

I’m not going to write this again. I’ve been doing a lot of journalism, and I’ve had more than enough of writing about stupidity, which is the main topic of modern journalism. You have a very bad, but very fixable problem. If you don’t fix it, you get what you deserve.

One more thing, specifically for my own side of the fence – Don’t pretend to be progressive if you never progress. Rhetoric means nothing. Hype is just hype. Facts matter; nothing else does. Get that straight, and you might get somewhere.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books



The Failure Society


Flying Wedgewood, third attempt rotatedForget conspiracy theories, tatty commercials, and the news. The biggest conspiracy theory of all time has finally been revealed. The Failure Society. You know all those decay worshipping, mindless adherence to everything people? The people that run everything? Stories are emerging of a deranged, semi-militaristic secret organisation with global reach.

Born in the vacant minds and delirious careers of total stagnation, this organisation controls the mind control groups that control the controllers of things that are controlled around the world.

Pretty damn boring so far, right? What’s unusual about this organisation is its dedication to total failure. Yes, gargoyle addicts, it’s the last link in that mysterious chain of total incompetence so many people suspect is really running the world.

Didn't know that, eh?

Didn’t know that, eh?

This group over is unusual in that it is dedicated to the ordinary, the commonplace and the totally uninteresting. Believed to have been started in a 1950s living room where even the slightest departure from suburban oblivion would have been considered heresy, the Failure Society was formed to promote failure.

The logic was straightforward. Deeply committed personal, ethical, and intellectual failures, these people decided to reinvent failure as a form of success. They marched out of their bassinets into media. They goose stepped right on down and got flunky.

Paul Wallis, Live Lazy and Love It, AmazonSpecially trained elite bores infested film production, comedy, and of course Wall Street, the other pantomime. Nothing was too trivial for their agile mediocrity. Their roadkill-like artistic excellence promoted them to the highest levels of industry. Their complete inability to comprehend anything gave hope to other aspiring morons. In them, the great doctrine of Nothing was enforced.

The doctrine of Nothing is based on a curse thoughtfully donated by one of the mothers of the original Failure Society:

In all your days you are nothing

As you can see, this simple statement has a lot to do with global media. It may be something to do with living lives on two-dimensional sound stages, or spending decades dealing with two-dimensional people. The great emptiness of vacant people is like a sinkhole; stick around long enough, and you go straight into the hole.

The immediate effects of this global takeover were first noticed in the news media. Suddenly, nothing was too trivial to be news. Ridiculous, laminated people became stars. Childhood became a race to the grave. People lived non-lives, based entirely on nothing. Everything, in effect, turned into nothing.

cropped-GREEN-AND-WHITE-SNOWSTORM-2.jpgThe Failure Society, now turned into tyrants, as most failures do, was in charge. They had turned human life into a struggle through every second which could only lead to nothing.

It didn’t last, of course.

The bores had done their jobs too well. Unable to watch another boring movie, listen to another boring rap, or watch yet another collection of talking sewage, even the most unintelligent humans eventually began to try to be alive.

How long can you look at a phone until it occurs to you that there might be a world out there somewhere? Or that there might be a life, and it might be yours, that you’re living?

Are we poor enough yet page 11The Failure Society had a fatal flaw. The problem with reducing everything down to nothing is that at a certain point nothing becomes irrelevant. You can only care so much about the progressively more trivial discussion of anything. Even in the completely personality-free ideal society, anything is more interesting than nothing.

The ridiculous lives that people lived made them much more receptive to anything. Despite the spreadsheets, the text messages, and the other enforcers of abysmal apathy – The fiction that people were actually alive and capable of doing things for themselves had persisted.

The minute it occurred to anybody that there was some money in this particularly bizarre idea, the culture of Nothing was under attack. Some people even went so far as to advocate that people actually went out and did something. Other, more radical elements, suggested that some things might actually be fun.

This came as a terrible shock to the Failure organisation. The Money culture, specifically designed to keep people on a permanent loop of failure, was the main pillar of the Failure Society. The Money culture produced nothing but itself, therefore attaining purity and complete nothingness.

It was the epitome of Failure Incarnate. If money could be subverted for the purpose of putting something, rather than nothing, into human lives, the Failure Society had failed.

Somewhere, in the vast emptiness of the empty, forever silent house of Failure society, the most hideous sound was heard – The sound of a laugh that just kept getting louder and louder and louder.


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books

Stupidity – A User’s Guide


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media JamStupidity is a strange thing.Any situation may start the thinking which becomes the reason for stupidity.

Clear as mud? Or too obvious for words? Both. Stupid people are stupid by nature. But intelligent people can make stupid mistakes nobody else would think of. Everyone does something they think is stupid. Everyone does something other people think is stupid. ‘

So stupidity is in fact pretty much more a probability than a problem. The question isn’t what to do about stupidity. It’s about what to do with stupidity. Continue reading

Their phoniest hour? Who needs political government?


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam governmentHaving basically destroyed the UK as a viable nation, the heroes of Brexit have mounted their white vacuum cleaners and sailed off into a justly deserved oblivion. Government is now about who manages the corpse.  In America, Congress has long since ceased to be a house of legislation and become a house of tantrums and obfuscation.

In Australia, we’re wondering if we need a government. Paying people to do everything wrong isn’t really considered much of an asset. If we wanted to cash in our government for hard money, we could maybe buy a juicer, or something.

Conservatism, previously the traditionalist approach to politics, is now just skank politics, available from any PR company. It no longer represents nations, cultures, creeds, or anything else.

The solution to everything, from wars to diseases, is to cut taxes. This should be done while destroying the economy, the revenue base and any other socialist risks. Other people don’t need money – All they need is to know that cutting taxes is the only way to do anything.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, governmentProgressive politics, appropriately enough, isn’t really about politics, even in theory. It’s about trying to get politicians to do something about progressive issues like education, health, social sanity, crime, poverty, pollution… add dictionary here.

Expecting a political system, which is by definition divided and divisive, to make decisions about anything is asking for slow progress. Western politics in general is a surefire recipe for doing nothing, and doing it very badly. The political system has rarely worked well, if at all, and shows no sign of improvement.

The last 50 years of decline have been all about going backwards. “Government” seems to have nothing to do with progress at all.

For example:

  • At the very moment it’s possible to educate people very efficiently and cheaply online, online education is out of the question. College fees are ridiculously high. Costs to educational institutions are also absurdly high. Politics obstructs the education which could make people much richer and more economically productive.
  • At a time of massive medical research breakthroughs, medicine is insanely expensive. People are going broke for no reason other than having medical conditions. Politicians simply obstruct medical research for the least credible of reasons and refuse to fund health care for the very people who pay the taxes.
  • At a time when housing can be designed down to individual welds, housing is becoming a crisis issue around the world. Quality of housing is also very debatable. It’s a matter of opinion whether more housing is falling down than being built. Is there a debate? It’s not even a subject for discussion in politics.
  • At a time when better science is able to reverse pollution, prevent it, recycle it, and do everything except teach it to tap dance, what’s being done about it? Zip. The politicians aren’t educated enough to understand the issues, which are killing millions of people every year.

Politics has a default reaction to all current issues, which is to ignore the public entirely and do nothing. In general, most politicians aren’t mentally equipped, or trained, to deal with current issues. They’re trained to deal with the previous generation’s issues, which they do equally badly and haphazardly.

Arguably, the only reason anyone or anything is still left alive on Earth is because politicians aren’t directly involved in the process of living. They certainly don’t seem to be alive themselves.

Government for the people – Easy enough

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

This book is all about creative ideas. Nobody has yet died of reading it, but it’s a pretty tough call for those not familiar with working with ideas.

The need is for competent administration, not politics. The mindlessly rich can be easily satisfied with a few more bucks for their addiction. The corporate non-people can be recycled in to possible humans.

Then maybe everyone can get on with their lives. Three generations of total disaster and regression has nothing going for it. The world can’t function with uneducated people. The world needs competent people. Nor can it function by spending endless billions and trillions supporting the whims, wars and wanking of obsolete idiots.

Forget politics. Laws can be passed by fully competent, socially aware people, too. Nobody gives a damn where their money comes from, as long as they have what they need. The only representation needed is that which directly represents your needs. Your rights should be literally inalienable, as well as theoretically so.

Generic government, in fact, has nothing to do with politics. It’s about real daily operations, not ideologies. Regulation is required mainly to provide a rule book for personal rights. Disputes can be settled more efficiently by competent people than political grandstanding.

Let their phoniest hour be their last. Abolish politics entirely and create functional societies and accountable operational governments. After all, how much worse could it get, and who wants to find out? The only real democracy is one that actually works. This isn’t it. New model, now.

LOGO with Sydney Media Jam edit 300PPI

England ad oblivia – Mediocrity to the end


Paul Wallis, Sydney Media JamIt means “England to obscurity”. If you have an atom of English blood in you, not the pathetic England of today, but older, more plausible, England, you don’t even need to ask what happened. The tedious little bastards have finally done it – From super power to car park in 150 years.

England has produced some truly remarkable people. These aren’t them. Look at the leaders of today off camera, and you wouldn’t notice them, or care that you didn’t. They’re nobodies. They do very little worth mentioning except find disasters in which to participate.

This is the fifth generation after the fools who entered World War 1 and bankrupted the country for the first of many times. Do you think Henry VIII or Elizabeth 1 would have gone to war over a trivial assassination? Hardly. The ancestors of the current useless load of baggage, however, did.  All the rest followed; the slaughters, the blunders, and the economic failures piled up for the rest of the century.

The immortal Celts in EnglandBritain’s passage through the 20th century was only redeemed by its people, who somehow managed to survive some of the least competent governance in history. England, however, did one better – As a tale of conscious, wilful national self-destruction, it’s hard to beat.

England has always been a separate entity, mainly for physical reasons. In ancient times, it was quite successful as a Celtic, then Roman, country. It had enough resources and trade to be at least visibly prosperous. It wasn’t overpopulated, either.

History was a series of invasions, wars, revolutions, the odd relieving plague or so, and maniacal mercantilism. England, then, as now, was as much an economic entity as anything else. The Tudors started the empire, almost by accident, and a progression up to George III did quite well until losing America over a piffling tax.

The City of London, apart from being burned down by Boudicca and the Great Fire, has always managed for itself. During the Wars of the Roses, it guided itself through and kept the business of the city, and the nation, more or less intact. It survived the blitz as being just another unasked-for encumbrance on its business.

The Empire of England – What was and what wasn’t.

Wanderlaugh, Paul Wallis books, Amazon

My books are set in the England of the immortals, not some dreary little off license. Wonder why? No.

The brilliant stage of England at its modern best came after the Napoleonic Wars. This was an uncharacteristically prosperous England. It was truly rich. That rarely occurs in English history. Under strong kings and queens, it was very rich at times, but most of the monarchs were pretty average.

The Empire flourished after 1820 – Mainly because it had no real competition. Europe was a disorganized, neurotic, inward-looking, mess. Russia was a backward blizzard full of the poor and the not-all-that arguably delirious. The Royal Navy ruled, and until after World War 2 it was an instrument of national policy with global reach. That it’s now more of an auditing exercise than a global power isn’t its fault – It’s the fault of substandard Whitehall lackeys who never really understood what it was for, or what it did.

Queen Victoria was a very good ruler in one way – She was the face of a triumphant, very English, not “British”, super power. The money was in England, the power was in England, and the global reach was in London. “Britain” was a sort of geographical euphemism.

Didn't know that, eh?

Didn’t know that, eh?

If the Empire existed today, it would cover North America, Britain, half of Africa, India, Australia and New Zealand, with countless other islands and territories. It would have been unchallengeable, un-fightable, in fact, with 19th and 20th century military technologies. The money would have flowed back to England. It would have been the biggest economic entity in human history, bar none. Even bigger than America at its peak.

If Europe wanted to destroy itself, it would have just meant more business for London. England could have remained aloof, and not much could have been done about it. A fairly rational policy, in fact.

The fact that it didn’t happen is based on one thing only – Politics. This obscene word is now a synonym for insanity, but it’s always been a negative force. Consider a form of government based on division of societies and conflicts over every piddling issue, however instantly fixable. Does it sound like a good idea?

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

This book is all about creative ideas. Nobody has yet died of reading it, but it’s a pretty tough call for those not familiar with working with ideas.

England, however, managed to avoid global domination thanks to its politics. The big money centralized the real power. The soggy brains of England’s very average politicians were easy to outwit. More big money was made, and hypnotized by the cash, national and Empire policy followed it, not logic. It’s been doing that ever since.

There is no human social dynamic less able to resist money than politics. There is no social structure more able to spread corruption and inefficiencies than politics. The rest of the story is all about politics doing what it does, and doing it so very badly.

The Commonwealth could have worked as an economic entity, and it did, in a largely ignored way, for a while. Putting together decent trade deals and managing all those foreigners, however, was quite beyond the governments of the postwar era.

English culture, apart from the 20s and the 60s, has become more superficial than real. It’s a two dimensional form of England, appropriately enough, a shop window. It’s a sort of reality-mediocrity bit of theatrics. There is a real English culture under the drunks, criminals and tiresome little rich people, but it’s not visible.

Brexit unter alles – England? Where’s that?

An English author. Perhaps that'll be illegal too, in the cowardly, dribbling modern version of England? You have to wonder why this book is STILL so far ahead of "debate" so many years later. A classic case of the norm being so far behind previous thinking.

An English author. Perhaps that’ll be illegal too, in the cowardly, dribbling modern version of England? You have to wonder why this book is STILL so far ahead of “debate” so many years later. A classic case of the norm being so far behind previous thinking.

Brexit is the next to last step in the total destruction of the giant achievements of England. The final step will be actual dissolution of Britain and reversion to a tiny little nation which has escaped from national prosperity yet again.

The Scots don’t have much choice – They need Europe. The Welsh and Northern Irish need their lifelines, too. The self-destruction of English industry and mainstream economics doesn’t give them many choices, either.

Even more spectacular in its utter mediocrity is the fact that England has effectively moved itself to the bottom of the food chain. With one stupid, barely considered move, England has managed to go from a palace to a bedsit. Only England’s least intelligent could possibly have achieved this situation.

I’m not quite prepared to write an obituary for this stupid, insular little country, despite its oversupply of absolute fools. Much of my ancestry is English. I like the place, if not the idiotic national image of it and the pathetic losers running it.

My family worked for the Tudors, set up Wesley Mission for the Wesleys, and participated in most of its wars.  We have a family crest going back to the days when there were wolves in England, pre-1120 AD.

It’s just possible that another English characteristic, knowing what to do with fools, may reassert itself. Parasite removal may come back in style. Someone with a vision may find a way out.

The problem is that the people expected to find the fixes are obviously irredeemable genetic morons. They’re the descendants of useless scum, following the family trade. Nobody with half a brain would have staged Brexit with no idea what to do next.  There may well always be an England, but it’ll be an idea, not a fact, until someone pulls their finger out and gets down to business.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books