The ecology of ideas


 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media JamIdeas exist in an ecology of ideas. This ecology is a fascinating study in so many ways. Ideas breed, evolve, become extinct, open up new environments, and create new elements in existing environments.

Some ideas are predatory, some are grazers, and things like Micro ideas at exactly the same way as microbes and viruses, adding synergies, infecting other ideas, and more. There are gigantic ideas and symbiosis-based ideas, flying ideas and borrowing ideas.

The first thing you learn about the ecology of ideas is that it is a particularly complex environment. Some ideas are virtually inorganic; they don’t do much, but they are used as the basis of what happens around them. Other ideas are entirely organic, and need to interact with other organic ideas. (Social media is a good example of organic ideas – Ideas generated to perform functions, and designed to interact directly with other ideas, perspectives, and mindsets.)

Didn't know that, eh?

Didn’t know that, eh?

Evolution in the ecology of ideas

From my own experience, I have seen my ideas open up environments which I didn’t even know existed. Some ideas were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, like expecting a whale to play table tennis. Other ideas evolved into completely different ideas, mainly because they had to it, not because of any particular outbreaks of insight on my part.

Many ideas function like crops – They are created specifically to be harvested, like books, music, entertainment, and other staples. These crops, naturally, create an additional environment of pests, and the ideas of working dynamics in their handling and management.

Paul Wallis, Live Lazy and Love It, AmazonThe evolution of ideas is a very interesting process. Depending on the nature of the idea, and the environment in which it is placed, you can see the evolutionary forces working for or against ideas. Like the very first genetically modified potatoes, which when first exposed to a real environment promptly died, the evolutionary process is the survival process for ideas. The next obvious part of the evolutionary process, is naturally the interaction with other ideas. Some ideas are hostile to each other, others work well together, and some basically crowd out existing ideas. “Invasive ideas” work very much the same way as invasive species, and also act as evolutionary drivers.

Interestingly also, the abolition of ideas naturally includes speciation – The creation of new species of the same idea, usually adapted to a particular environment. Global media is a form of speciation of ideas, largely based on the idea of trying to be different and stand out. This is a basic marketing principle, but it’s also a very important evolutionary principle – Adaption to an environment.

GIMP first tryFor ideas, marketing is roughly the equivalent of eating. An idea exists in so far as it is functional. Ideas which generate rewards or other benefits naturally prosper; ideas which don’t either wither away or go into stasis.

The stasis response, in fact, is the usual state of a lot of ideas which are ahead of their time. They cannot actually be applied at the moment, but they will be useful later and will have a life in future. In many cases, the environment itself has to evolve in order for them to be functional. The necessary conditions, nutrients, and interactions must exist before these ideas can actually have a life of their own.

Infectious ideas

Almost the exact opposite of stasis is the range of “infectious ideas”. These ideas may be short lived, but they have a massive impact on culture, people’s reactions to situations, and other real-life operational values. Infectious ideas spread and naturally mutate, very much like the old communications workshop message exchange.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, AmazonThe critical difference is that the spread of infectious ideas tends to be a little bit more careful and targeted. An infectious idea by definition is an idea which is relevant to those to whom it is spread. The ideas may mutate slightly in the course of being transmitted, but they also mutate in terms of their interpretation. Rumors, gossip, hearsay, and off-the-cuff responses can all generate infectious ideas very easily.

Facts, also, can generate infectious ideas very quickly. The infection acts as a stimulant to a response in both micro and macro terms. Individual responses may vary, but the macro response tends to develop a range of common factors. One of the reasons for this is that ideas are invariably challenged by different environments.

For example – An idea in accountancy may become an accepted practice, but have instant caveats in business and commerce, specializing in some areas and not operating in others. The same idea, applied to politics may have a very brief existence, before simply being replaced with other infectious ideas. It may also become an article of faith, depending on the mindsets of the political environment.

You have to wonder why this book is STILL so far ahead of "debate" so many years later. A classic case of the norm being so far behind previous thinking.

You have to wonder why this book is STILL so far ahead of “debate” so many years later. A classic case of the norm being so far behind previous thinking.

Exploratory ideas are raised virtually different class of ideas. These ideas do not naturally intrude on existing environments, but can create new environments. The internet is a case in point. It became an infectious idea simply because it was functional, not because it was necessarily a vast jump in logic. It barely existed 20 years ago, now it is indispensable.

Exploratory ideas also open up new logic, which naturally mass produces new ideas. Say you invented a new art form; the logic and ideas required to use the new art form cannot be the same as old ideas. There may be some similarities, but this is a new medium, and therefore a new environment. Ideas must therefore evolve to work in this environment.

The old saying “There’s no such thing as an original idea” may well go down in history as the stupidest statement ever made by anyone on any subject. In practice, all ideas must have new elements in them to meet new situations. They may be derived from old logic and old ideas, but they can’t actually be the same thing in a new situation; therefore, they are new in terms of application. Minor evolutions over time, can produce whole new species of ideas with almost nothing in common with their original source.

Truly new ideas, in fact, are largely synthesized from the fact that the old ideas don’t work and can’t deliver useful functional solutions. They simply can’t be applied; therefore, new ideas are required to meet needs. It is a virtually unconscious process, with or without conscious logic. Suddenly, the new idea makes sense.

Similarly, if a type of bird runs out of its natural foods, it has to try eating whatever is available. This actually is a very natural, more or less inevitable process. If you don’t have the money to buy the food you want, you have to make do with whatever is available within your means.

The same thing very much applies to thinking of any kind. To get anywhere with meeting needs, you have to come up with ideas that can do what you need them to do.

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

This book is all about creative ideas. Nobody has yet died of reading it, but it’s a pretty tough call for those not familiar with working with ideas.

It’s interesting to note that many of the best ideas seem to come from almost effortless, but very accurate thinking. A joke may set off a whole chain of ideas quite easily and painlessly.  Stolid number crunching and painstaking rational thought may simply cause mental constipation and generate no ideas at all.

I think that the natural process, which is obviously more efficient, is the more realistic scenario for the ecology of ideas. Ideas are naturally generated, it’s simply a question of which mental environment they are in which decides their ecological niched and evolutionary potential.

Practical exercise in the ecology of ideas

A good practical exercise in this regard is to use lateral thinking – Try thinking the exact opposite of your opinions on a particular subject. Now see where the logic goes, and what new ideas are instantly generated as you try to oppose your own thinking. Note the new conceptual environment and the new issues created.

I’ve suggested this exercise because I did it myself a year or so ago, and to my utter disgust, came up with exactly the same viewpoint I already had, but after processing it through a completely different range of ideas. That won’t necessarily be the result of this exercise; but it does prove that ideas do create new and different ideas, sometimes from totally different origins.

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books

Redefining snobbery for the deliriously educated


 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media JamIn a world where a bizarre world culture says “Fetch!” and you go and fetch a career, a life, etc., you’re likely to fetch a few perspectives, too. One of them is snobbery, both as giver and receiver.

Since the end of even the pretense of social equality, snobbery has to be redefined as a practical thing, not just a mental problem for ignoramuses.

Snobbery exists at all levels of society. It’s just as common and just as bad at the bottom of the dunghill as at the top. Snobbery is also a learned process. The “Fetch!”-based education is brutal, direct, and about as delirious as the rest of the society at any given moment. Like other education, priorities vary, but the human realities are unavoidable.

Snobbery has practical applications:

  • Exclusion/inclusion in groups, games, etc.
  • Any competitive environment
  • Pecking orders
  • Career
  • Social status
  • Humiliating others
  • Being humiliated yourself
  • Any form of pretension in social or professional life

Yes – Just about every form of human interaction, except being born and dying. Encouraging, isn’t it? Because some drab slab of flab needs to assert itself, an entire group dynamic has to live with the mess. Because one group claims superiority, everyone else is devalued, and real perspectives, on any subject, are skewed by giving that group more weight than others.

Delirious snobbery

People learn these things, directly and indirectly, and apply them to their own situations. This is where the delirium sets in – Anyone who’s ever trained people, including even parents, will tell you that how you prioritize things makes a big difference to the quality of actual learning.

Generations X, Y and Z, being fed almost hysterical “Fetch!” aspirations regarding everything from sex to suicide from birth, can be forgiven for thinking that they were, after all, supposed to go and fetch.  Like most kids, they trust those teaching them, however obviously insane their teachers may be.

The teachings and aspirational imperatives of this society are delirious.  These same generations are being equipped for a world that no longer exists, particularly in “Fetch!” terms. The values of Sitcom Land no longer apply. You’re being told to get jobs which don’t exist in industries which no longer operate like that, and while you’re at it, be assertive about your superiority, like everyone else.

These are the same values which enforce snobbery. The hack cliché of people doing valuations looking at other people does still happen, but it’s redundant. Now it’s about group roles. Are you the Alpha Idiot or the Epsilon Sub Bozo? This is your role, you lucky barnyard animal, you.

A lot of extremely tedious, humanistically offensive science has gone in to proving that this behavior is natural – It comes from the caves. Snobbery, according to this theory, is assertion of authority within a group. Yes, it’s another excuse for people being jerks.

Class snobbery

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam,As a matter of historical fact, snobbery, particularly the class-based variety, is rather different, with a different background. It’s a type of valuation, but also a social structure, with a few caveats.

The Upper class doesn’t “look down” on other classes. It usually prefers not to look at them at all, if it can possibly avoid doing so. That’s what their employees are paid to do, anyway.  There’s no need at all to belabor the point that they’re rich – It’s obvious, as is their social status.

The Middle class, ironically, being a bandwidth, is the natural home of class snobbery. Your new slop-mobile, obviously, makes you more important and successful than someone else’s death trap. If you’re lucky, you can get up at dawn, flap your wings, and make rooster noises, you fascinating specimen, you. This class can’t be snobbish to the Upper class, which really does outclass them, so they take it out on everyone else. It’s a classic inferiority complex, common among underachievers.

Paul Wallis, Live Lazy and Love It, AmazonThe Lower class is entirely income-based. These people can’t afford pretensions. They’re in that class because they can’t be part of any other class. Snobbery in this class, therefore, is manifested as basically honest, if occasionally psychopathic, hatred in the form of inverted snobbery. The self-righteousness of envy is hard to miss. They’ve had enough experience of the Middle class to loathe it and despise it, and any accidental encounters with the Upper class don’t help much, either.  The Lower class snobs rip in to themselves as badly or worse than the other classes, whose determined lack of participation in their world reduces the incidents of conflict.

The theory of “equality”, incidentally, is unacceptable, and fairly useless, to all classes. They prefer to be better, not equal.

Consider this structure, in terms of “Fetch!”:

  • The Upper class doesn’t have to fetch at all.
  • The Middle class has to fetch; for all it knows, that’s what life is all about.
  • The Lower class can’t fetch much if anything, and is hyper sensitive to it.
Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam

This book is all about creative ideas. Nobody has yet died of reading it, but it’s a pretty tough call for those not familiar with working with ideas.

The worsts snobs are truly inferior people.  How far gone would you have to be, to be a billionaire telling a homeless person how superior you are? In the original Upper class, snobs of this type were despised, with good reason. You really do have to be a piece of total 1000% crap to act like that, and wouldn’t be allowed inside buildings.

In properly trained Upper class environments, you’re only allowed to be snobbish to annoying people of your own class. This class doesn’t need to be snobbish to other classes – What’s the point? Anything else is very downmarket indeed, and unacceptable.

In the non-neurotic Middle class, you are required to resemble and act like a functional human being, not an advertisement for your own vanity and stupidity. You can also expect to take as much snobbery as you dish out, which you will probably deserve.

In the Lower class, snobbery is quite rightly considered a form of self-delusion, and treated accordingly as proof of idiocy. Even the previously sacred inverted snobs are usually exposed as pitiful wannabes, almost totally dysfunctional, hiding behind the class barrier like Mummy’s apron. It’s a sorry sight, like the other actual snobs.

Snobbery is tolerated mainly for its comedic value, or because the pretensions of others are so absurd and irrelevant to most people. If you want to be avoided, become a snob. It’ll save time.

2016 US elections, sydney media jam

Who needs reality anyway, when you’ve got American media?

(It should be noted that to the credit of all three classes, the very relevant question, “…And who the hell do you think you are?” is a sure sign that the line of tolerable snobbery has been crossed, and that one’s dear little pseudopods better get back on the right side of that line. Ironically, snobbery is more dangerous to snobs than to anyone else.)

So – Snobbery, in effect, is a delusion, based on a vague, entirely useless theory of “Fetch!” as defining human beings as property and tenth-rate social playacting, rather than people.

A deluded material society, creating a delusion, to promote the delusion of superiority for idiots. Result: An education in delirium, and nothing of value to anyone.

 

Paul Wallis, Sydney Media Jam, Paul Wallis books

What does the universe do?


 

corporate dynamicOne of the strangest things about science, religion and philosophy is that one question is never asked – What does the universe actually do? If that question, the function of the universe, has ever been asked, nobody seems to have answered very coherently, and certainly not consistently.

There’s a reason for that – All these disciplines are infested with the sort of people who if told Mary had a little lamb, would spend years proving there never was anybody called Mary, and that lambs can’t possibly ever have existed.

Better res image

An image of the universe – Not quite so easily defined, is it?

The Three Stooges of Human Thought, in fact, usually stick to dogmas like Mommy’s apron. They also act like kids proudly reciting things learned in kindergarten. If trained to think in such a way, you’ll think in that way, despite your better judgment or information which contradicts dogma. You may be able to dig your way out of the dogma(s) but it’ll be a struggle, particularly against fanatical dogmatists.

So a gigantic space, when observed, produces gods, physics, and theories, right or wrong. If someone says the Earth is flat, that statement will be believed. This isn’t exactly the mentality required to figure out what the universe does.

So-

  • What’s its function?
  • It processes a lot of matter and energy – Why, and what’s the holistic effect of all this matter/energy operation?
  • Does it have cycles of activity?
  • How much of its activity is observable?
  • Where is it going, and why? (How it behaves in movement is of course important; but why is the most likely indicator of its functions. How would you express, or model, the evolution of the universe? Might tell someone a lot about what it’s doing.)
  • Are we in a huge accelerator, or a vortex, or what?
  • How do we interpret the extremely complex shape of the universe, and in relation to exactly what, outside it, which may affect its behavior?
The cosmic microwave background - Not all that self-explanatory, either.

The cosmic microwave background – Not all that self-explanatory, either.

Functions are the best indicators of future actions and possibilities. If the past of the universe is fascinating, we may also note that what it’s doing now is perhaps more immediately relevant. So asking what the universe does is rather fundamental to understanding it.

If you remember the story of the exploration of the light spectrum, you’ll also remember that theories have a tendency to follow knowledge – or the lack of it – around like little lambs. Theories are usually only as good as their knowledge base. Sometimes predictions are right, but mostly they’re wrong, or progressively obsolete as new knowledge emerges.

Ironically, the value of theories depends on what you’re theorizing about.  If you’ve never asked the question “What does the universe do?” you’re likely to lack much of an idea of how to answer the question.

How many physical functions can you see in this one picture? Everything, in fact, from individual atoms and subatomic particles to macro structures, and all working together.

Consider a furiously expanding, accelerating, universe in which super massive black holes abound, vast amounts of energies and matter are processed continuously on a mathematically colossal scale, all of which quantum physics tangles together like a raindrop.

Merely accepting these facts gets no closer to understanding them. Questions, particularly those outside the normal frameworks, get useful answers. Acceptance gets nothing but current knowledge, which is inevitably superseded.

A few examples:

  • What if black holes are super aggregators, creating a secondary, much more “refined” universe using this one as material?
  • What if the non-universe around this one reacts to it the way two fluids interact, without joining, or perhaps by one mixing with the other?
  • What if dark matter is a secondary product of universal functions, and the non-dark matter universe has simply been converted in to another state? (Not entirely out of the question – Black holes effectively remove matter from the “normal” state; why wouldn’t another process do something similar?) Where does that leave current theories, and where are the new theories to explore that theory?
  • What if entanglement is some sort of core function of the universe, which can be used to interpret macro-universal behavior?
  • Do universes merge? If so, how would they do it?
  • What acts as an attractor to a whole universe, pulling it in so many directions?

These aren’t even particularly advanced questions – They’re simply extrapolations of observed facts, with some possibilities added.

I don’t want to turn this blog in to a soap box for my own theories, which are many, and subjected to regular panel beating on a more or less daily basis. It’s purely to ask that one question, because I have a feeling if nobody asks it, it’ll never get answered.

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English for psychopaths


 

corporate dynamicThis isn’t the BBC. It should be, but you’re luckier than you think. Welcome to our English for Psychopaths program, now available in tetanus form.

The English language has many uses, not least of which is as a food. It can be spread on almost any topic, or even used in monologues for sexual gratification.

As a food, English can be used as a generative source of energy for action, snivelling, opinions, and even actual thought, in some rare but apparently unavoidable cases.

In recent times it has been reluctantly noticed that there may be other uses for this language. It has also been noted that many groups seem to lack adequate forms of expression, particularly those who are supposedly reduced to practicing management science, becoming thought leaders, or entering politics, as their sole form of interaction with language and other people.

Ad hoc Threat-Hamster coverThat may not be the case. It’s quite possible that some people are latent managers, undiagnosed thought leaders, or have mutated from human beings in to politicians. It may be that these alleged people have been unfairly singled out from the mass of humanity for simply following evolution’s little practical jokes a bit too far.

The following program explains the English language, its uses, and why so many people who speak English have no idea what they’re talking about and are so happy about it. It also, reassuringly vaguely, demonstrates the fact that those whose native language is English have no idea how to use the language for any purpose whatsoever.

We hope this introductory information will be of use to you in your commendably desperate attempts to avoid relevance of any kind. Remember that you have the right to choose to have no relevance whatsoever to anything, and your understanding of the English language will sail majestically in accordance with your noble aspirations.

A few basic concepts regarding the origins of English, before we start:

England: A place where Attenboroughs swarm in herds.

The Queen of England: The nice lady who kindly rented us the English language.

Britain: A geographically enforced irony of associations with the Scots, Welsh, and Irish to which the English are hopelessly addicted.

The English people: An assortment of cultures, history, dialects, perversions, and Catford, comprised of 70 million people selflessly determined to avoid each other at all costs.

Europe: An unsubstantiated rumour which persists throughout history and which the English would rather ignore, but from which many words have been swiped and conscientiously distorted, mispronounced and misspelled.

France: Yes. We’re sorry about that. It just seems to be there. Perhaps it will go away.

Mimbly_Tales_Cover_for_Kindle(1) 300PPIWe move on, erratically if sadistically, to basic English. Each word is given in a social context. Linguistics experts believe that this is a true social dynamic, based on the ability to inflict others with information, however useless or idiotically expressed.

This observation, ironically, has led to another – There usually is more than one actual meaning in any statement when speaking English, for however little reason. This is based on the “Unstated Theory”, the belief that only a tiny percentage of actual meaning is deliberately conveyed by talking to anyone about anything. Accidentally useful information may ooze out of a statement, but it’s certainly not a conscious process.

Basic English phrases

The following is a useful collection of common English phrases with colloquial meanings and variations according to conversational context. We’ve chosen a few in context with England itself, to add local reference points, but mainly because it’s much more annoying that way.

Words in bold are actual statements, with their meanings below:

Hello.

  • Your parents weren’t thinking, were they?
  • Darwin really was an optimist, wasn’t he?

(This word may also be pronounced as though giving birth to a Mack truck, as required by law in certain social environments.)

Terrible weather.

  • I’m really a mass murderer, killing people with small talk, and selling subscriptions.
  • I have a bet with the coroner whether you can form sentences.

I went down the off-license.

  • My relationship with buildings is ambiguous.
  • I went to visit my liver.

I want to drink your blood

  • You look like a teabag, what if I just add some boiling water…?
  • I’m too cheap to buy a beer.

I’m a house brick

  • I am now an autonomous structure, hoping to attract others.
  • I earn a living being inserted in to the heads of other citizens to block drafts.

They’re an interesting couple

  • I’m an entomologist with time on my hands
  • We ran out of agar plates, and there they were!

The bus is coming

  • Our journey to the underworld has begun!
  • …And why shouldn’t vehicles have orgasms?

I’m going to …. (location)

  • I feel the need to reproduce and mate with retail outlets.
  • I was going to go mad, but it’s far too crowded these days.

Yes, I’m a plumber

  • You probably don’t recognize me without my orchestra and choir.
  • My god, you’re observant.

It made Britain what she is today

  • …And someone will scoop it up, eventually. (This expression is generally accepted to refer to any form of mediocrity, however self-important.)

Welcome to Britain!

  • We really needed another vacuous bastard, we were running out.
  • We’re motivated sellers.
  • Take it home and try it on.

“For psychopaths” …

My books, oddly, are about endless different realities. No wonder they don't sell.

My books, oddly, are about endless different realities. No wonder they don’t sell.

Let’s not be too lazy about the word “psychopath” at this point. The definition of a psychopath is “a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behaviour.”, according to Google. They’d know.

The obvious problem with this definition is that it refers to everybody, in some form. If this ridiculous pseudo-society doesn’t fit the bill as a chronic mental disorder, what does? Yet just about everyone pretends it actually exists, and, bizarrely, has a reason to exist, and behaves accordingly. It’s almost as if they expect this “society” to do something, or mean something.

“Abnormal or violent behavior”, in turn, could also describe the whole of human history, even the interesting bits. A species so obviously determined to be as idiotic as possible as often as possible hardly needs to qualify its terminology specifically “for psychopaths”.

Therefore, English is now the international language of psychopaths, by psychopaths, for psychopaths, to facilitate communications in abnormal behaviour. It’s for everyone. It now facilitates more fraud, crime, wars, ineptitude and insanity than any language before it.

So there.

Paul Wallis note: You’ll be pleased to know that there is also now a cure for the English language – My books. Read a few of these murderous tomes and revel in the total lack of frames of reference, syntax, logic, and useful information of any kind.

Simply buying a few of these books with real money will qualify you for all sorts of pensions, government grants, and other compensations and benefits from terrified professionals in many different academic disciplines. It will also qualify you for heartfelt disbelief from your friends and total strangers alike.

The cure was quite simple Invent new words and new contexts. Ultimately, that will turn any language, however useful or facile, in to a sort of self-pitying mush. According to Word, my books contain something like 300 completely unprovoked new words.

Yes, if you’re trying to escape from the English language, just read me and it’ll never bother you again.

…Now all I have to do is figure out why I charged myself $200 for adding those last few paragraphs….

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Devaluing wealth and calling it capitalism


 

corporate dynamicOne of the things that makes “saving the world for plutocracy” so amusing is the fact that so many of these so-called capitalists have been devaluing their own wealth so effectively. Nowhere is this more obvious than in Australia, where being a millionaire now equates to owning half of a pretty pedestrian home.

The brilliance with which so many alleged business people have managed to increase their own overheads and decrease the value of their revenue is truly spectacular. Clutching the Big Book of Capitalist Clichés, they have managed to effectively destroy the value of their own incomes.

One of the reasons Australia can be considered as a test case for the rest of the world is that the phenomenal lack of originality in basic thinking in the capitalist class is genetic. They are the descendants of money grubbing middle class idiots, the promoters of money-mad, methamphetamine-like idiocy, and quite unable to grasp much more than grade school levels of information. Typical Western non-people, in fact.

Paul Wallis books, sydney media jam, Amazon, The Creative Process

This book is all about creative ideas. Nobody has yet died of reading it, but it’s a pretty tough call for those not familiar with working with ideas.

Like their foreign counterparts, they regurgitate this outdated pabulum as policy, ideology, and even perhaps for mating purposes. (Who knows, who cares?) Privatization in Australia has been a truly monumental exercise in raising costs. Australia in the 1950s was a country suffering from its usual levels of low capitalization, and sharing the cost of communications, energy, et cetera made sense.

At some point, however, it stopped making sense ti someone who realized you could give all these cash cows to themselves and their slug-like little friends. Obviously, if you privatize everything and then crank up the prices and overheads, it’s good business for somebody. Actually it’s good business for sellers and deal makers; for everybody else it’s certain death by degrees, according to what happens to cash flow.

Imagine a situation where in one of the richest countries in the world electricity price increases prompt a woman in a wheelchair to ask whether or not she will be able to afford to recharge her wheelchair. The result, you may ask?

A heartfelt expression by senior politicians of “the end of the age of entitlement” was the net result. Apparently legal entitlements, statutory rights, and other details are not part of this stampede to economic oblivion.

Australia’s politicians are a pretty representative group of modern politicians – Totally insular, usually several generations removed from anything vaguely resembling hardship, and absolutely brainwashed with whatever pointless dogma is being spouted by their peer groups.

Another terrible bogeyman in the form of deflation emerged during the transformation of Australia into an Easter Bunny. Interestingly, the very people who have been squeaking about market forces for at least 30 years don’t like deflation.

Quite rightly, they point out that deflation means a decrease in asset values. The maniacal increases in prices, which have exactly the same effect the minute you try and buy or sell something, however, are quite all right.

Paul Wallis books, Amazon, Dear Buckley

About Australia in the 21st century – It was going to be called Wankers Wonderland, but I thought that was too tactful. “Buckley’s chance”, in Australian slang, means “no chance”.

The fact that deflation may be reflecting the impracticability and unsustainability of prices, of course, was never mentioned. One of the richest countries in the world is now bleating (with good reason) that the next generation will simply not be able to afford to own their own homes. The related issues about insane prices for pigeon coops and a ridiculous employment market in which nobody can expect to have jobs for more than a few years at a time didn’t get a mention, either.

Like just about every other country on Earth, Australia makes a habit of having perfectly good working prosperous economic models and totally destroying those economic models. The working models are replaced with models that don’t work at all, at incredible expense, for no noticeable reason.

Like other Western countries, Australia has managed to make education as inaccessible as possible based on a ridiculous pricing structure and total lack of acknowledgement of the value of skills of any kind. This is despite a multi generational scream from the business sector for trained people. Education rip-offs, dubious service providers, and mindlessly exploding costs are now hitting the fan in the news, but everybody knew about that years ago.

If you’re getting the impression that devaluing your own wealth also involves totally destroying an economy, systematically, over decades, you’re quite right. It took a lot of effort to turn the fantastic economic boom of mid-20th century into the pathetic snivelling farce we see today.

Are we poor enough yet HYFDAY versionMinds of unfathomable mediocrity must’ve been involved in this process. Not only have the basic principles of capitalism been totally misunderstood, but even the basic mechanisms now don’t work properly. To explain – The purpose of capitalism is prosperity, not paying for 40 years of excuses for total failure by people who don’t have the professional or personal credibility to fall out of the rear end of a cockroach.

The pattern is that whatever the stated goal, the exact opposite is what will be achieved, usually far more expensively than originally projected. Public health is probably one of the best examples – For some reason it’s okay to have sick people in the workforce or carrying guns and on the roads. The more money that goes into health, the sicker the society seems to become.

People under 30 may have trouble believing that there was a time when the global society wasn’t full of rich raving lunatics, but it did actually happen. Wars were something people cared about; poverty was an issue, not a mere excuse to pretend that you give a damn about something. Slavery barely existed, pandemics were virtually eradicated, and the overall quality of life, if not spectacular, was reasonably good.

Job page 24The irony is that all this happened at a time when capitalism actually knew what it was doing. At that time, there was such a thing as actual objectivity. The future was supposed to be incredibly prosperous, better than ever, and, well, worth waiting for. This was before the built-in corruption, before the global saturation levels of organised crime, and other current hobbies.

This version of the future, following the formula above, is the exact opposite of expectations. Everything has been devalued, from basic individual lives to macroeconomic fundamentals. There are no longer any realistic expectations of significant positive achievements; this verminous version of the Middle Ages hardly qualifies as a future.

So consider the stinking, futile carcass of the modern world – Devaluation evolves into decay, and dealing with the state of decay evolves into virtual hunter gatherer survival. This is no longer a civilisation – It is a pitiful attempt at human existence with arguably the stupidest rationales ever expressed for its existence.

Having cheered you up with this merry little frolic through the obscenities, an irony – Every single thing mentioned above can be fixed very easily and quite quickly. Anyone slightly more intelligent than a bored rock should be able to figure out how.

Know anyone like that?

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Why there’s no point in talking to conservatives at all


 

corporate dynamicConservatives used to be real people, not rehashed two dimensional jingles with no opinions of their own about anything. Conservatives used to be all about serious social responsibility.  Now it’s about how many vermin can get on the political gravy train.

Neo conservatism is a sort of endless un-communications workshop, where reciting by rote every single word is the only real agenda.

 

There’s no such thing as a personal opinion. Everything is pre-scripted. It’s a pretty simple good/bad approach for neo conservatives:

Good (must love)

  • Republicans past and present
  • Deregulation
  • Guns
  • Rich people
  • Wall Street
  • Anti-environmentalism
  • Oil industry
  • Tea Party
  • Kochs
  • Talkback hosts/ FOX
  • Anti-ethnicity of any kind
  • State secession
  • Business of any kind
  • Historical fiction
  • Pharmaceutical prices
  • Rich lifestyles
  • Old people with assets

Bad (must hate)

  • Democrats past and present
  • Regulation
  • Gun laws
  • Poor people
  • Mentioning financial crime of any kind
  • All environmental issues
  • Greenhouse issues, spills, etc.
  • Anyone who disagrees
  • Any reference to human needs
  • Anyone with a different opinion
  • Civil rights/ constitution, etc.
  • Federal government
  • Any mention of corporate crime
  • Historical facts
  • Sick people
  • Homeless people
  • Old people without assets
Paul Wallis books, you're looking sane today, Amazon

Didn’t know that, eh?

This is pretty much how you imprint chickens. Whether you actually believe people are this simple or not, there’s a good, potentially lucrative career in pretending to be so dumb for neo conservatives.

The fact is that none of these issues are negotiable on any level. You can’t be “a bit conservative” any more. Everything is black and white. The super-rich are wonderful and should have more money. The ultra-poor are horrible, and should have less of everything.

 

Similarly:

  • Any statement made by a conservative politician or commentator is gospel truth; any other statement is just plain wrong.
  • No conservative statement or policy can be questioned, at all, by anyone.
  • It’s a bit like believing in Santa Claus. A conservative will be elected, and there’ll be milk and cookies and Christmas presents for all, like during the Great Depression and the Great Recession.

Now the question – What can you talk to these people about?

  • You quite literally can’t even discuss the weather, which is a socialist conspiracy.
  • You can’t talk about trees and animals, which, like Nature, are sworn enemies of democracy.
  • You can’t talk about the price of meds; it’s your own fault for not being prepared to pay multiples of original costs.
  • If anything at all is said by anyone else, the exact opposite must be true.

Personal perspective regarding conservatives

conservativesIronically, if I wanted to take it easy, I could be a conservative. I’m over-qualified, in fact.  I’m 100% WASP, upper middle class by birth, raised in 1% Land in Australia.  One of my German family distant relatives is a major GOP donor. (There are so few people with this German name (not my surname) that we’re instantly recognizable.)

The problem – I was also raised as a kid to despise social climbers, hypocrites, mob rule, bullies, and cowards.  Strangely enough, as an adult, I do, simply because they are what they are. They’re trash, pure and simple. They don’t belong in buildings, let alone in public office. They’re basically useless, incompetent, and extremely untrustworthy.

This is an example of my perspective in practice:

We had a local politician, a pretty average/ also very parrot-like sitting conservative Member of Parliament who was talking to our neighborhood about an election, and he said, in all cynical innocence: “Well, of course, you people have to vote for us, don’t you?”  He was booted out at the next election. Our 1% Land blue-ribbon conservative electorate elected a socialist, for the first time in living memory.

Translation:  Remember who you’re talking to, you scum. You don’t have to elect these vermin, whatever side they claim to be on.

Point made, I think?

 

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Typical job ads


 

corporate dynamicJob ads are to human beings what dysentery is to market research. These long torture sessions for people who need jobs are now institutionalized, like everything else that doesn’t work in this world and everything that shouldn’t.

So, naturally, I’ve decided to jump on the industry hearse and add a sort of template for more efficient stupidity, as follows:

 

Administration Clerk job ad

We’re looking for an admin hero. A Darth Vader of data entry. A vicarious vulture of call centers. A master of irrelevance who doesn’t check pay slips.

This is the person we want:

  • You’re a real go-getter with a sense of adventure in the fun-filled, vermin-infested world of admin.
  • You have a PhD in insane nitpicking, and a post-grad in office effluent management at source.
  • Youse haves an eye for detowel.
  • You’re an experienced lab animal.
  • You can’t tell the time, let alone your age, but you’re a great time manager.
  • You can perform janitorial duties and major surgical procedures at the same time.
  • You belong to no known species.
  • You can manage competing lunacies with ease and a total lack of competence.
  • You’re consistently above KPIs, because of your complete lack of biological processes.
  • You see no relevance to yourself or your employer in the words “customers”, “sales”, “revenue” or “productivity”.
  • You are deliriously enthusiastic about everything.
  • Your ignorance on all subjects is legendary.
  • Your communications skills have nearly matched those of a house brick.
  • You have multiple Olympic medals in the fields of snivelling, grovelling and obtuse obfuscation.

If that’s you, ooze down to the application button, whimper helpfully at your screen, and apply now! We can promise you a future which will defy description.

My advice – If that’s you, become someone else, immediately.

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A corporate dynamic vs toast – A history


 

corporate dynamic…And it came to pass in those days that a piece of toast was decreed by those in the vast spaces of the meeting. Behold ye, sinners, the dynamic culture thereof, and how a world did end.

“Toast”, cried the dynamic geriatric, famous for his ability to almost use furniture. “Yeah!” yelled the multitude. “…But how?” they wailed. The challenge was great; the minds were flickering with the implications.

“You’ve got a plan, boss!” said the perceptive young 50 year old sycophant, astutely.

Are we poor enough yet page 6An expression, perhaps, or possibly erosion, crossed the enigmatic features of the boss. It was a look of greed, power, and lust. Or maybe the senility was trying to escape again.

The insiders looked on admiringly but with caution. The boss had an unusual hairstyle, largely because his hairdresser hated his guts, and the resulting haystack was sometimes a clue to the dark logic under it. If the mess on top moved, something was actually going to happen. If it didn’t, they could go and frolic in the park unless those big butch butterflies were around.

The hair moved, erratically. Something was going to happen. The level of tension rose. You could feel the dynamics, oozing out of their various orifices.

Job page 19“Yes”, he replied eventually. He looked around at his cohorts, his legions in this war on toast. They were a good bunch. Loyal, punctual, and absolutely talentless. They were the perfect mix of futility, cheap greed, and utter dependency.

“We need thought leadership!” he exclaimed. “We need insights, inputs, and outputs. We need people called Nigel making passionate evangelisms among the masses. We’ll form a working group, and start a project.”

The hordes swooned. Action! Decision! A room full of ties straightened up in their chairs, instinctively.

The perceptive young 50 year old was chosen to lead the team. He was a real go-getter that got. He started with the thought leadership. He scoured the Earth, or somewhere similar.

Mimbly_Tales_Cover_for_Kindle(1) 300PPIHe found Ard O’Veering, the dynamic instigator of seminars which appeared out of nowhere in New York. The crusty old 20 year old was full of vinegar, pithy observations, and about three bottles of Jack. Just the guy to really pin down the ethics, meaning and spiritual flavors of toast.

He found Pew Tress Smugly, hard case marketing genius and occasional arsonist, perfect for the difficult task of making toast. Smugly was able to expound the true values of thermodynamics, oxidization, and flammable materials to any business gathering. He was a persuader, an influencer, a clairvoyant, and able to kill people with a mere 5 hour monologue on any subject. Talk about dynamic.

He found Lucid Van Duh, too… A master of social media, capable of turning Big Data in to meaningful slop with a single nuance of moving priorities and personally responsible for the Louvre becoming a dry cleaning franchise. “Him look dynamic”, reasoned the 50 year old sycophant cunningly.

Didn't know that, eh?

Didn’t know that, eh?

The team was assembled at a meeting, and the feathers flew as these experts battled for supremacy over the toast project. The conversational got technical, fast, and most of the audience were lost early in the melee of ideas.

Ard O’Veering: “We toast, do we not? We estrange the carbohydrates in coarse gestures, do we not? We singe We howl at the moon, but do we gyrate at the tides?” he asked.” We should become as one with the toast!” he roared.

Pew Tress Smugly disagreed, vehemently: “We should create new meanings! Is it enough to merely toast, when we could incinerate our way to a whole new civilization on a single slice of bread?”

Lucid Van Duh threw a colossal monkey wrench in to the meeting with a savage riposte: “Flard. Sub toastal ecumenical leanings. Drive toast to movies. Zab woof. Nootle not lest your smoods betray your true objectives.”

They didn’t actually start beating each other up, but wow, was it dynamic. The only thing they agreed on was that media coverage of The Toasting was required, and their fees.

Gothic Black, Paul Wallis books AmazonThe boss smiled, and the mob cringed. He got up on the table and said, “Agreed! A budget of $15 million will be used for the project.” Then he did a little dance, singing Camptown Races in the nasal tones so popular at karaoke nights. The crowd went wild.

Dynamically, they set up the dynamics of the project, which obviously had to have good dynamics or it wouldn’t have been dynamic. People were sent on working retreats to learn how to antagonize carbohydrates with coarse gestures. Haggard but mindlessly optimistic faces appeared in the malls. They arranged groups to howl at the moon while others surveyed recruits for gyrating at the tides. People who identified strongly with toast were surveyed, and had to be restrained in some cases.

Other groups were sent in search of meanings, with orders to capture them and return them to the office for evaluation. Serial toast-burners were brought in for questioning and training purposes. A group of specialists were sent looking for a civilization to compare to slices of bread.

A Flard Task Group was set up to find flards for staff indoctrination, preferably those flards with strong but discreet religious ties. Cinemas were besieged with people bringing their toast to premieres. Zab woofs, a particularly cynical type of dog, were bred in huge numbers. Nootles, nootling, and any other activities were banned, causing some annoyance among nootle-vendors around the town. Smood management (the art of smoothing your moods until you don’t know what you think about anything) classes were rigidly enforced for all staff. Objectives of any kind were forbidden to be mentioned.

Mass Media page 3The media production people were invited, then found themselves subject to non-disclosure contracts, orientation lectures, and seminars from the three stalwart thought leaders. They agreed that $15 million sounded about right for the project. Allowing for other costs, that blew out The Toast budget to about $40 million.

Nobody cared. Life was good. Ideas were challenging and exciting. Many of the staff had never tried Smooding, and found it very helpful in their relationships, personal and professional.

Talkback radio stars had orgasms on air about The Toast. They proclaimed it a moral essential, a key issue in modern democracy, and rather cute. Game shows and reality shows included people talking about The Toast to the exclusion of all other subjects. Even the standing room only state of North America, now covered five layers deep in management consultants, was rarely remarked upon.

It was perhaps inevitable that a wider stage for The Toast was envisaged. The three deus ex washing machina decided that political leverage was required, and managed to persuade representatives from government and opposition to provide inputs. Another $20 million sailed majestically by as the organization, tired but proud, cheered.

Are we poor enough yet page 14Soon, the world was involved. National budgets included funding The Toast as a core economic policy. Huge amounts of business were generated for toast training, therapy, and related needs. Flards roared. The moon was howled at by millions of people. Tides were gyrated at, whether they liked it or not. Smooding was entered in to civil law, and included in corporate law as a nice touch.

The military industrial complex, of course, couldn’t be left out. Toast bombers, Toast ICBMs, and Toast robots with Stealth Smooding capabilities were churned out in vast numbers.

Zab woofs were appointed to executive positions, mainly because unlike the constantly smooding humans, they knew when and whom to bite or urinate upon. Arson became an Olympic sport. Toast burning was carried out in mass ceremonies, oversighted by High Smooding Priests. The Toast Day became a public holiday.

Are we poor enough yet page 4Then a revolutionary idea occurred – Why not put something on the toast, like marmalade, or jam or something? It took the mighty intellects four years to think of it, but it was a major, and for a while, significant, revelation. Fortunately, no actual wars occurred, but global tensions were high, even when subjected to Mass Smooding.

Came the big day – The actual Toasting. Expectations were high. The boss appeared before the world in his Smood Suit, his haystack hair gleaming in the sun. The sound of a world saying “Goshickles!” was heard.

He placed the toast in the toaster. It arose, glowing crisply from the heat of the 4000 degree, ultra-tactful, super laser toaster. He smiled. He buttered the toast, added jam, reheated, and ate it.

A silence ensued.

A voice was heard – “You mean… That’s it?” asked the voice.

The global economy collapsed. The Toast-oriented society, its ethics, its values, and most importantly its stock prices, lost all meaning. The chaos was un-Smoodable. A world ended, if not before the next thing it toasted was the boss and his haystack hair, which turned out to be an actual haystack.

Moral of story – If you believe for a minute anything means anything but exactly what it’s supposed to be and what it’s supposed to do, you’re even dumber than you think you are. Smood if you can.

In keeping with the practices of other highly reputable scientific journals, a small fee of anything which can actually be processed by PayPal to the tune of $2938443982473497429384 is payable for reading this article. If enough people read it, I’ll be able to pay my phone bill for all the counseling I have to do as a result of writing it. Your cooperation and prompt payment is much appreciated – If not entirely believed.

LOGO with Sydney Media Jam edit 300PPISydney Media Jam is now back. Seems the changeover from Yahoo meant that some stuff went missing, too. I had entries for June 2015 as the latest…. Anyway, we has returned, so there.