Intellectual superiority- A user's guide

    One of the most common traits in post-relevant society is a
    demand to be intellectually superior to something. This adorable
    hobby is part of a wider move to Total Applied Delusion, (TAD)
    the new viral trend among people with no apparent use for their
    minds or themselves.

    This trend is much noted among the TAD intelligentsia, who
    have been making surprising breakthroughs in the areas of total
    futility and nauseating self-congratulation on a 24/7/365.25
    basis. The world is run by these people, and the results are
    easy enough to see. Unavoidable, in fact, if you still watch the
    series of outtakes now known as modern media.

    The question is what sort of people need to be constantly
    enforcing their claims to intellectual superiority? Like power,
    intellectual superiority is most in demand among those who don’t
    have it. Two year old children do this regularly, but grow out of
    it. The TAD crowd apparently don’t.

    There is a funny side to this. To see a group of creatures a few
    percentage points of genome removed from actual chimpanzees
    demanding acknowledgement of their intellectual superiority is
    fascinating. The TADs can’t even find a use for themselves, and
    when asked for clarification of any point, instantly quote other
    people as their proof of intellectual superiority.

    Their lives, in fact, are a combination of quotes and citations of
    others. Their role models, invariably, are impeccable. Why do
    intellectually superior people need role models? Because there’
    s something missing internally? Some lack of individuality? Or
    because, like the quotes these role models are good things to
    hide behind?

    One of the most interesting ways of looking at anybody is in a
    context. Imagine that, a person with a context. How innovative.
    Consider the idea of intellectual superiority in a world which
    would barely qualify as a broken-down sewer.

    Enforcing one’s intellectual superiority

    What, you may ask from your palatial pollution-saturated tower,
    does one do in this environment to prove one’s intellectual
    superiority?

    Clearly, the demanding role of intellectual superiority demands:

    Pomposity in all things- One does not eat toast, one
    consumes a range of modulated carbohydrates and biological
    compounds, to give one the strength to impart one’s wisdom.

    A tedious, pedantic approach to consideration of
    anything- Each word in a sentence must be elaborated until
    other people start dying.

    Impeccable credentials, however obtained- Preferably
    accompanied by total lack of achievement of any kind, which
    might undermine the image of intellectual superiority. (One may
    often find intellectual superiority products in local supermarkets,
    often at a discount, if one is interested in flaunting one’s
    magnificence.)

    A role- An infinite obsession with one’s role in any social group,
    however pointless or necrosis-inducing that group may be. Each
    nuance of these manic associations must be grounds for self-
    worship.

    A completely inaccurate, dishonest vision of oneself- One
    is not a mere ridiculous occupier/molester of furniture, but a
    dynamic being, ruling the world with one’s non-existent
    personality alone.

    A vast, verbose emptiness where there’s supposed to be
    a person- This is invaluable when mixing with other intellectual
    vacuums and precludes any necessity for actual personal
    existence of any kind.  A sucking synergy which cleans floors, or
    at least worries them, is the usual result. There’s nothing quite
    like a group of people with nothing to say which never shuts up
    on any subject.

    So get ye hence, vermin, and proclaim thy brilliance to the
    rotting winds.  Snivel thy glorious claims to the septic tank of
    human society. Putresce ye elegantly among the corpses.
    Grovel to thy maggot-eaten gods of self-obsession.

    Render thy pustules of thought to the perverse filthy poverty of
    a future grown sick on thee and thy kind’s eternal spiritual
    flatulence. May thy zits of wisdom follow thee unto a well-
    deserved and unremarked oblivion, where thee shall find eternal
    emptiness to match thyselves.