One of the most common traits in post-relevant society is a
demand to be intellectually superior to something. This adorable
hobby is part of a wider move to Total Applied Delusion, (TAD)
the new viral trend among people with no apparent use for their
minds or themselves.
This trend is much noted among the TAD intelligentsia, who
have been making surprising breakthroughs in the areas of total
futility and nauseating self-congratulation on a 24/7/365.25
basis. The world is run by these people, and the results are
easy enough to see. Unavoidable, in fact, if you still watch the
series of outtakes now known as modern media.
The question is what sort of people need to be constantly
enforcing their claims to intellectual superiority? Like power,
intellectual superiority is most in demand among those who don’t
have it. Two year old children do this regularly, but grow out of
it. The TAD crowd apparently don’t.
There is a funny side to this. To see a group of creatures a few
percentage points of genome removed from actual chimpanzees
demanding acknowledgement of their intellectual superiority is
fascinating. The TADs can’t even find a use for themselves, and
when asked for clarification of any point, instantly quote other
people as their proof of intellectual superiority.
Their lives, in fact, are a combination of quotes and citations of
others. Their role models, invariably, are impeccable. Why do
intellectually superior people need role models? Because there’
s something missing internally? Some lack of individuality? Or
because, like the quotes these role models are good things to
One of the most interesting ways of looking at anybody is in a
context. Imagine that, a person with a context. How innovative.
Consider the idea of intellectual superiority in a world which
would barely qualify as a broken-down sewer.
Enforcing one’s intellectual superiority
What, you may ask from your palatial pollution-saturated tower,
does one do in this environment to prove one’s intellectual
Clearly, the demanding role of intellectual superiority demands:
Pomposity in all things- One does not eat toast, one
consumes a range of modulated carbohydrates and biological
compounds, to give one the strength to impart one’s wisdom.
A tedious, pedantic approach to consideration of
anything- Each word in a sentence must be elaborated until
other people start dying.
Impeccable credentials, however obtained- Preferably
accompanied by total lack of achievement of any kind, which
might undermine the image of intellectual superiority. (One may
often find intellectual superiority products in local supermarkets,
often at a discount, if one is interested in flaunting one’s
A role- An infinite obsession with one’s role in any social group,
however pointless or necrosis-inducing that group may be. Each
nuance of these manic associations must be grounds for self-
A completely inaccurate, dishonest vision of oneself- One
is not a mere ridiculous occupier/molester of furniture, but a
dynamic being, ruling the world with one’s non-existent
A vast, verbose emptiness where there’s supposed to be
a person- This is invaluable when mixing with other intellectual
vacuums and precludes any necessity for actual personal
existence of any kind. A sucking synergy which cleans floors, or
at least worries them, is the usual result. There’s nothing quite
like a group of people with nothing to say which never shuts up
on any subject.
So get ye hence, vermin, and proclaim thy brilliance to the
rotting winds. Snivel thy glorious claims to the septic tank of
human society. Putresce ye elegantly among the corpses.
Grovel to thy maggot-eaten gods of self-obsession.
Render thy pustules of thought to the perverse filthy poverty of
a future grown sick on thee and thy kind’s eternal spiritual
flatulence. May thy zits of wisdom follow thee unto a well-
deserved and unremarked oblivion, where thee shall find eternal
emptiness to match thyselves.